Monday, May 04, 2009

skin tingling, breathing
silence, heart racing
no spaces in between
growing, emptiness
maybe im dreaming
entangled, skin touching

this was written about the beginning of february..

Honestly, Im so torn between the reality of whats going on and the actual feelings I have.
I know that in some way.. I have to be cared for. But on what degree? Probably nothing
more than this.. this gigantic idea that its all NOTHING.
Maybe I am causing myself too much stress over this. I don't want to give up. But somebody
told me today, if you have to put that much effort into it.. its probably not worth it.

I don't want to believe that it really means nothing. Maybe I have no idea whats really going
on. I wish that this situation had some sense of dignity. Like writing on here to express my
stupid feelings. Never a response, never a glimpse for me to even know whats happening.
I don't need serious... I just need truth. Its not that complicated. We are both complicated.
But should I continue this chase? I want to so bad, every ounce of me wants to...


somehow I feel I will never get the answer..

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